An apostate's sorrow
by Callisto
Summary: Carver pays his brother a little visit after the death of their mother...


It has been very quiet in the estate since Ion Hawk's mother had been brutally killed. Only Fenris came to visit now and then to make sure that Ion was still alive, but that was all. Nobody had visited the heartbroken Hawke. They probably didn't know what to say to him, or they were afraid that their words may hurt him even more. Nevertheless, he was a bit angered that they didn't come to see him. It was now that he began to realize just how lonely he was. He was now a young man with a title he didn't even want. He wanted to go back to those times when he was still on Lothering with his family. Back then he was so happy just to be with everyone, but now he was alone.

He kept staring in the fire. On the background he could hear the anxious walking of the two dwarves he had met several days ago. They were with him on the Deep Roads expedition some time ago, and they hadn't left his estate since. In exchange for a bed and meals, they would provide him the right to enchant weapons and armor. It was useful, but that was all there was to it. They wouldn't walk up to him to ask if he needed someone to talk to, they just minded their own business.

Gamlen, his uncle, had softened a bit. When they first got to Kirkwall he was a narcissistic, selfish, egoistic person. Ion had a hard time believing that this man was his uncle. But after his sisters' death, he opened up a bit. They had been talking a bit about the past, and eventually his uncle went outside to get some fresh air. He didn't show it, but the death hurt him more than he wanted to admit.

Just when Ion wanted to stand up to retreat to him room, the door got smacked open.

" By the Maker! What is going on? " Carver stood now in the room.

Ion eyes widened a bit by the sudden enter of his younger brother and stood up.

" How could you let this happen?"  
>Carver charged forward and smacked Ion merciless in the face. " You should've been here! You should've been the one to save mother! Where the hell were you when mother's head got severed from her body? "<p>

Ion got smacked against the wall and felt the taste of iron in his mouth.  
>" I was… " He shook his head.<p>

This made Carver even more angry. He walked to his brother and held him firmly by his shirt.

" Aren't you the perfect son? The one who has a title and an estate? The one who rose to power? Yes? Then why the hell did you let our mother die? "

Anger began to rise up in Ion and he smacked his brother back in the face.

" Me? You left her side to join the Templar's! You joined the ranks of my worst enemies! By the Maker! I am an apostate in this town Carver! I am a mage and you are a Templar! That makes us mortal enemies! "

" I had to! " Growled Carver dangerous. " And now I am glad I did! Mother was killed by a Blood mage! A Blood mage! You could turn into one too! Who knows, maybe you are already one! "

This was the last insult that Ion could take. He jumped on his bother and together they fell on the ground. They wrestled a bit on the ground till Carver sat on his bother.

" All of this is your fault! Our sister Bethany is dead, and now mother is dead too. You are the eldest of us two, it was your duty to watch over them. You failed Ion, you failed everyone! "

Ion tried to wriggle free, but his brother kept him nailed on the ground. A sense of powerlessness came over him, and it scared him. He tried to reach for his magic, but he was completely severed from the Fade. That means that his brother was using his Templar powers.

Tears began to well up in his tired eyes. " I've tried to safe her " He screamed. " I've tried to cure her but I was too late! I could've I known that this was going to happen to her? If I knew this beforehand I would've never left her side! If I knew that Bethany was going to be killed when we escaped Lothering I would've gladly jumped before the fatal blow. If I knew that king Cailan…"

He began to cry and scream at the same time. The feeling of loss and loneliness waved over him like a big wave. At that same time he could feel how his brother loosened his grip on him.

" I am so tired of this! " He screamed. " I am so tired of being betrayed all the time! I am so tired of the running from the Templar's! And most of all I hate it to be so powerless! I never asked any of this! "

Carver didn't say anything. He simply stood up and left the room and smacking the door shut as he left. But soon after, the door got opened again, and a familiar white haired elf entered the room. He looked around, and his eyes widened a bit when he saw the bloodied face of the champion. He kneeled, and took the man in his arms in a protective embrace. Ion simply cried as anger and defeat took over…


End file.
